On beginnings, anniversaries and remembering
(for CRO please scroll down)
On this day years ago I went for a dance workshop I knew nothing about. As I was going for every dance opportunity I could go in Croatia at that time, this was one of the things I applied for not knowing what to expect. Truth be told, I didn’t care too much what was that about, I just wanted to dance.
It was the last year in my psychotherapy training and I was eager to continue my studies. For moths I was browsing through the internet different schools, different opportunities that would bring me what I wished for. And what I wished for, or better to say what I was calling in was a new teacher, a practice that is in connection to the spirit world, that acknowledges it, works with it explicitly and is at the same time rooted and present on this material dimension.
As I wasn’t able to find anything that was for me better or much different than the school I was finishing at the time – Center for Integrative Development here in Zagreb, I gave up on that search somewhere around Christmas. I remember that time being really potent for my inner journey. I ended a relationship that wasn’t good for me and decided to look deeper into my own responsibility of that what life was bringing me which I felt as deeply painful and shitty. I was 23 at the time and just started to learn about my life purpose. A lot of ‘letting go’ was happening at that time. A lot of making space for the new as I see it now. So, there I was, years in therapy and dancing my heart out as much as I could to work through the heavy shit of being human with personal and family history, as I recognize today we all have, dancing for what I want to bring and create in my life with full body-heart passion that I have. I showed up for the workshop. I remember going in, feeling this space I later on learned to be called Mesa. I remember hearing two tracks that hit my heart – two tracks that in the last couple of months represented my shadow and my light. I remember dancing in this thing known deeply in my bones, the thing called ceremony, feeling like I’ve known this place my whole life, but did not know where it is. As we sat down, I heard stories about the Amazon and the dreamworld and felt like I finally heard someone talking about the experiences that I had for many years in a human language, naming the things I was trying to explain to my friends for many years, but often failed in the lack of names I would have for it. In that moment listening to Yaacov, I knew my new teacher arrived. Teachers, to be more precise, because meeting Susannah just a month after that showed me I got more than I asked for in the most beautiful way. I also heard that day in the workshop there is this thing called Apprenticeship Programme. The application was due 7 days from that moment. I had no money for it, no prerequisites, no idea how I could get in and do it. And I also knew strongly in my heart I need to go. It felt like a life and death situation. In those long 7 days I gave all that I had to get in. The Great Spirit did the rest – which was actually exactly everything I needed to start that journey. Or shall I say ‘this’ journey? Today it is my anniversary with Movement Medicine. At that time I had no idea where the journey will take me. I just had and still have a strong heart calling to follow it. So, years after that moment looking back I see this brave young woman to stand up and follow her heart and the choices she made since then over and over again. And I bow to her with all my love. I also see that the medicine of this practice goes so much deeper than I could ever imagine. It feels like I have recently stepped through a new door, allowing the Spirit to circulate in my veins, the beauty of life to be present in my heart and the love for life to be my guide. And in this moment I recognize how, oh how important is to love each other, to cherish each other, elevate each other and support each other to grow and shine and develop and share that in the world. All of us. In our ways.
I also want to acknowledge all my teachers for providing the space where I can remember and keep on remembering. And as it is my anniversary today, and as I am for a zillionth time on my way to Devon to the School of Movement Medicine to assist on the second module of 7th Apprenticeship Programme that ends with 48 hour long ceremony Winter Dream Dance, I truly want to acknowledge Ya’Acov and Susannah Darling Khan for creating this body of work and teaching it, teaching me for many many years with such love, dedication, fierceness and kindness. Looking forward for this next chapter!
If you feel called to this journey, there are several opportunities in March.
You can dance with me in Zagreb, March 6th 2020 ‘Awakening to Spring’ – Movement Medicine Dance Ceremony.
Also, Yaacov will be coming again to Ljubljana, with his weekend workshop Entranced – Walking Between Worlds, March 13-15th.
https://web.facebook.com/events/418901088740668/
Also, if you’re interested in a longer journey, new Apprenticeship Programme with the brilliant David Mooney and Yasia Leiserach is open for application and is getting full. This will start on January 2021, so if you’re thinking about it, this will be amazing opportunity.
https://web.facebook.com/profile.php?id=449183195682136
Hope to see you on one of the dance floors soon.
Sending love as I go to celebrate,
//
O POČETCIMA, GODIŠNJICAMA I PRISJEĆANJU
Drage plesačice i plesači,
na današnji dan prije nekoliko godina otišla sam na radionicu o kojoj nisam znala apsolutno ništa. Kako sam u to vrijeme koristila svaku moguću priliku da plešem u Hrvatskoj, ovo je bila jedna od onih na koju sam se prijavila bez ikakvih očekivanja. Da budem potpuno iskrena, nije me ni bilo briga o čemu se zapravo radi, samo sam htjela ići negdje plesati.
U to vrijeme bila sam zadnja godina psihoterapijske škole i apsolutno željna za nastavkom učenja. Nekoliko mjeseci pretraživala sam internet za različite škole i prilike koje bi mi dale to što sam tražila. A ono što sam tražila, ili bolje rečeno što sam zvala u svoj život, bio je novi učitelj, nova praksa koja je povezana sa duhovnim svijetom, koja ga priznaje, radi s njim eksplicitno i istovremeno je ukorijenjena u materijalnom svijetu. Nisam uspjela naći ništa što je bilo bolje od škole (Centar za integrativni razvoj) koju sam u tom trenu završavala – ili što bi bilo vrlo različito od toga s dodatkom onoga što tražim. Odustala sam od potrage negdje oko Božića. Sjećam se da je to vrijeme bilo vrlo moćno za moje unutarnje putovanje. Završila sam vezu koja nije bila dobra za mene i odlučila pogledati dublje u odgovornost koju sam imala za to što mi je život donosio, a bilo mi je jako bolno i sranjski. Imala sam 23 godine i tek počela učiti o svojoj životnoj svrsi. Puno otpuštanja se događalo u to vrijeme. Zapravo, puno stvaranja prostora za novo kako to danas vidim. I tako, godine terapije, i isplesavanje srca najviše što sam mogla da proradim svoja sranja, svoju tešku osobnu i obiteljsku povijest, koju svatko od nas dobije, plešući za ono što želim donijeti u svoj život, što želim stvoriti cijelim svojim tijelom, srcem i strašću koju imam.
Pojavila sam se na radionici. Sjećam se ulaska unutra i osjećaja samog prostora za koji sam kasnije saznala da se naziva mesa. Sjećam se da sam čula dvije pjesme koje su me pogodile ravno u srce, koje su mjesecima prije postale reprezentacija moje sjene i svjetla. Sjećam se da sam plesala u nešto što sam poznavala duboko u kostima, nešto što se naziva ceremonija, osjećajući da znam ovo cijeli svoj život, ali da nisam znala gdje je. Kako smo sjeli, čula sam priče o Amazoni i o svijetu snova. Osjećaj je bio kao da napokon netko priča o iskustvima koje sam imala cijeli život ljudskim jezikom, imenujući stvari koje sam rukama i nogama pokušavala godinama objasniti svojim prijateljima bezuspješno jer nisam imala rječnik. U tom trenutku slušajuću Yaacova znala sam da je novi učitelj stigao. Učitelji, da budem točna, jer sam upoznajući Susannah samo mjesec dana kasnije shvatila da sam dobila više nego što sam tražila na najbolji mogući način. Taj dan čula sam za Apprenticeship Programme. Prijava je bila za 7 dana od tog trenutka,. Nisam imala potreban novac, niti preduvjete, a niti ideju kako ću to uspjeti. Istovremeno, užasno jako sam osjećala da moram ići. Osjećaj je bilo kao da se radi o pitanju života ili smrti. U tih dugih 7 dana dala sam sve što imam da upadnem. Ostatak je napravio Veliki Duh za mene – dobila sam na sve moguće načine točno ono što sam trebala da započnem to putovanje. Bolje rečeno ‘ovo’ putovanje? Danas je moja godišnjica s praksom Movement Medicine. U to vrijeme nisam imala pojma kamo će me taj put odvesti. Imala sam samo, a imam još uvijek jak zov u srcu da taj put i pratim. I tako, nekoliko godina kasnije i s pogledom unazad vidim tu hrabru mladu ženu koja je ustala i pratila srce. Vidimo i izbore koje je donosila u skladu s tim iznova i iznova. I naklanjam joj se sa svom svojom ljubavlju. Vidim i da ljekovitost ove prakse ide puno dublje od onoga što sam ikada mogla zamisliti. Osjećam da sam nedavno prošla kroz nova vrata, dozvoljavajući Duhu da cirkulira mojim venama, ljepoti života da je prisutna u mom srcu i ljubav prema životu da me vodi. I u ovom trenutku prepoznajem koliko je, ajme koliko je potrebno da se volimo, cijenimo jedni druge, da se međusobno podižemo, podržavamo u rastu i sjaju i da dijelimo to sa svijetom. Svatko od nas. Na naš način.
Isto želim i zahvaliti svim svojim učiteljima za prostor koji su mi pružili da se mogu sjetiti i nastaviti prisjećati. A kako mi je danas godišnjica, i kako sam po zilijonti put na putu prema Devonu i Školi Movement Medicine, gdje asistiram na drugom modulu 7. Apprenticeship Programmea koji će završiti sa 48 sati dugom ceremonijom Winter Dream Dance, želim imenovati i svoje učitelje – Yaacov i Susannah Darling Khan i zahvaliti za stvaranje ove prakse, za svo učenje svih ovih godina s toliko ljubavi, predanosti, oštrine i nježnosti. Veselim se sljedećem poglavlju!
I ako osjećate poziv prema ovom putovanju, pred nama je nekoliko prilika u ožujku:
sa mnom možete plesati u Zagrebu 6.3.2020. na plesnoj ceremoniji Proljetno buđenje.
Uz to, Yaacov ponovno dolazi u Ljubljanu, i to sa vikend radionicom Entranced – Walking Between Worlds, 13.-15.3.2020.
A ako ste zainteresirani za duže putovanje, za novi pripravnički program (Apprenticeship Programme) s brilijantnim David Mooneyem i Yasiom Leiserach su otvorene prijave. Program počinje u siječnju 2021, a ako vas zove, ovo će biti odlična prilika.
Nadam se da se vidimo na nekom od podija uskoro!
Šaljem hrpu ljubavi dok idem slaviti,
Kaya